It seems like the natural thing to do to reflect on the past year. It seems a bit surreal to think I was in Sweden this time last year. A lot has transpired from the move back, and what I would like to think is growth. It has been a year of more heartache than I would have liked but also some good things along the way. I have had my lovely companion this past year who has brought me such joy. Nala makes my life so much better.

I moved a couple of times in the first half and again to my own home, the 2nd half. Moving helps you realize what you have and what you don’t need. It costs a lot of money to move. It has caught up to me now. It cost a lot less to stay in Sweden than to come back to my home. I appreciate the simpler lifestyle I had there. There are things I should have taken advantage of there, like getting some medical things done. I wished I had traveled more. I can sit in regret or be grateful for all I did get to do. The latter does me more good than the other.

I have learned to stand on my own and that I can. I have learned I am giving, and I should be more careful with who I give money to. Often, it has happened, but it doesn’t come back. I can be kind and generous, and others can as well, but not i shouldn’t trust everyone. I have learned to be more careful with my heart and be open to possibilities. I have learned what I want and lots more about what I don’t. I have learned I don’t always have to be right because sometimes I am not. Being humble takes a bigger person than standing my ground. I have learned how to compromise and share my opinion more. I have also learned to let go of things not serving me.

I have more adventures and love to find. There is lots of good in the world, and I can create my future. I am the master of my life, no one else. When I find the person I want to be with, we can create a life together. I can be open and honest with my feelings because others are big people. If I can’t be myself, I am not in the right place or with the right people.

I am both glad and sad to be back in the States. I am not sure I was fully ready to leave, but I may never have been. I may go back someday, and I know I can. I know I can make new friends, but it takes a while. Patience is something I still need to practice. It has been difficult to be back to a place I occupied with my ex-husband, but I have made it my own. I am surviving, not really thriving at this point, and I keep going anyway. Things have not turned out the way I hoped, but I am learning resilience.

Life goes on despite the circumstances. Doing the best you can is enough. Taking naps is amazing. The weather in Arizona is amazing in the winter, and I love the storms. Life will continue to improve if I let it. I should always trust my intuition because when I haven’t, I have been burned. Listen to the feelings and don’t discount it. Do research about something before doing it if I am in doubt. Always have a lint brush when you have a fuzzy cat and always say yes to friends when possible. Friends and family are important.

My Christmas was quiet but I got some special gifts. The best one was a bracelet from my oldest daughter Sheila with a touching card about me being her bonus mom. It touched me tremendously the sentiment that I mean so much to her. The item itself is unremarkable, but the thought behind makes it a treasure. I did have company, which I was grateful for. My date did not happen last week, and nothing may come of it, but I am still open to love. The possibility of something more.

Tonight I am going to a concert. Jim Brickman, an accomplished pianist, he was popular in the 90s. I love piano music, I am so looking forward to it. Happy New year! It is upon us now, and I look forward to what comes next.