Yesterday was a year since he left me. I did not think I would survive but here I am, alive and well. I have learned a great deal about myself. I have had a lot of ups and downs in between, including waking up crying from a dream about us just the other night. But here I am living in my home country of Sweden, where I always wanted to live. I have 2 1/2 months to go until it is 1 full year but I have done it.
I am moving to a new apartment this week and this will take me through the end of the year here in Malmö. I still have hard days but I am making a life slowly but surely. I am looking for a job and an apartment either to rent or buy and strongly leaning towards staying. I am taking it slow and if the pieces fall into place it will be the right thing, if not then I can go home to whatever awaits me.
I am making new friends and evolving into someone new. I have been reading a book by Marian Keyes called “grown ups” and a woman said to a man she later married “you lived one life before and another before that. Now you are living out your passion for [Sweden]. And at some stage you will evolve to the next thing.” I added Sweden for myself, she said cycling, but it hit me that I have changed and evolved and lived different lives, done different things and I will continue to do so as long as I live.
I will be ok and intend to be better than before. I want to thank all my family and friends who have stood behind me, loved me, held me as I cried and listened to me as I vented. Those who have lifted me up when I was down and care about me despite the mistakes I have made and will likely continue to make.
Somewhere I heard it is not about the destination but the journey which keeps us going. Working hard to enjoy the messy middle of life. There is so much more life to experience and I plan to do so as boldly and daringly as I can. Thanks for being there for me. Here’s to me and you and whatever our future holds. 🍹
Take 2 of Life 
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