I was very sad after Beverly left. I was also tired and the combination made me a bit depressed. I just wanted to sleep so I did just that on Monday. I did not leave the house until the evening when I finally took a long walk. I am glad I did and it was totally worth the trouble because the next day I felt so much better.

A lot of things hit me all at once. I could not reach out to anyone, just wanted to wallow in my own pity. It started with finding out Dan has found someone he is dating regularly and then I started watching a program and had to switch it out and the other was similar about finding love, being in love, etc and I just went down for the count. I have days like these sometimes. Not too often but a day here and there where the world seems to be too overwhelming and I can not possibly do it one more second so I slept.

However, the days have been beautiful here and things are looking up. I got a job at a nearby gym, not the exact one I have been using, but that company and they have a lot of gyms. It is by IKEA and just a short bus ride or bicycle ride away. I am looking forward to it. It will be an evening class starting just before 7 pm which is not my preferred time slot but it will get me in the door. I start this coming Tuesday! I have been relearning my choreography for the class and going to start with what I know and then add tracks from others as I gain more confidence. Start with what you know.

I have been working with a health coach for a while now and we talked about nutrition two weeks ago before Beverly came and I did nothing. I did go shopping but had no plan and nothing came to fruition. So today is day one and I am going to work on breakfast this week. A healthy breakfast that does not include bread, butter and cheese. This is what I have eaten because it is easy. Truth is oatmeal is also easy and more satisfying. There are also lots of options with fruit and nuts or savory such as scrambled eggs (yes, try it, it is delicious). Lots of variation and especially now that fruit is coming into season I can mix it up with whatever I find that is ripe and sweet.

I need to start taking better care of myself. I find I am rather lazy with my food and don’t know what to prepare. I need to think ahead more and eat what I like but perhaps prepared a healthier way and smaller portions. There are lots of options if I think a bit. I do well with lists but don’t always like eating what I have planned so I want to be more flexible and perhaps only think a day or so in advance so I don’t get overwhelmed. When I get overwhelmed, I give up.

Now with my class coming through I want to be a good example. I want to show others it is possible and be inspiring to them. I am one of the oldest instructors, most are in their 30s but there are participants which are my age. I am planning to attend others classes as well and get to know them so I can substitute for them or team teach. I think that will be fun. Plus give me some more experience. I have made friends with a couple of other instructors now.

Spring is definitely here. The trees are blooming with all the beauty they have. Bushes are starting to leaf out and some of the trees have tiny buds growing. I love seeing the early flowers of crocus, daffodils and tulips popping up all around town. It is fantastic also to have longer days with the sun going down around 8:30 pm. Lifts the spirits for the most part.

Yesterday I met up with my cousin Christina and we enjoyed a walk together. She met me at the bus stop and we walked to Pildamspark which has a wonderful lake on one side and it is huge so I can’t wait to explore it all. Next week we are going to have a FIKA which is a Swedish thing where you go and have a pastry and coffee together. We will likely have lunch as it will be around that time. So a walk in the park and a FIKA at the place we saw yesterday.

In the park, there were hundreds of birds and people out in the sun soaking up the rays of the sun. There were joggers and walkers all over. The view from the dock was incredible. There are several little cafes located around the area and Margareta pavilion with beautiful flowers which I imagine are amazing all year round. I long to be closer to those beautiful parks but it isn’t so far I can’t get there by bicycle or walking, especially when the weather is nice.

Making plans for future adventures. To Göteborg, Norway, London and hoping Italy very soon. I spent a little money the past weekend so need to be more careful and think about spending it on adventures rather than stuff. I did buy some beautiful Rörstrand Mon Amie plates I had been eyeing for some time.

Mon Amie, launched in 1952, updated and relaunched in 2008, is a shining example of a true Rörstrand classic. The sketch of a simple flower, created on a rainy midsummer in the late 1940s by Marianne Westman, became a cobalt blue blooming and lasting piece of art in many households. Mon Amie brings brightness to any occasion. I figure it is a classic I can use in my home and I started using them right away. I just wish I had more but a little at a time as I find them on sale or a deal.

This morning I will go grocery shopping, and probably nap after. I will go for a walk and see how long it takes to get to the new gym, hopefully, get to do my paperwork today or tomorrow and write to the attorney the final instructions. I am dragging my feet. I want the divorce to be over but I do not want the marriage to end I guess. Strange words together. I have some bookwork to catch up on as well, which is always difficult to start but is nice when it is finished. I think it is a good idea to be aware of what you have and keeps me more focused and aware of what I can spend or not. I like to think I make better choices but not there yet.