I am struggling to write this post today but this is one commitment I have actually kept. Perhaps it is because I have all of you expecting an update. Today I saw a photo of my husband on my daughter’s Facebook page. He was helping her with something she had been asking for a long time. I am glad he helped her but along with that, I got an e-mail from him suggesting I start dating to help with the loneliness. I sent him an e-mail back, telling him I had started dating and it was as I expected, not so much fun.

I was hoping to get some confidence from my little dating exercise. I thought the attention was fun at first, but it got instantly overwhelming. I was checking the inbox constantly to see if anyone I liked was interested. Today I took off all but one of my photos and changed my description and intend not to look anymore. The guy I have been seeing is still gone and I realize I am doing exactly what I always have done, seeing multiple people at once, keeping my options open. It is nice knowing more than one person is interested but I am stressed out. Good thing I am doing relationship group coaching. I hope to get some things figured out.

I needed a distraction so decided to bake bread which turned out fantastic. It took me a while to find the recipe because my files on the computer are not organized at all. Everything is all over and in different files now and a mess. I also created a canvas print with the girls and grandchildren for my apartment and another of my favorite photos for my wall. I miss the kids a lot and look forward to having a chat with them this weekend.

I met up with a wonderful woman yesterday, Petra, and we talked for 3 hours. We met a few weeks ago in the nearby mall. She moved here in September and lived in Washington state. She is originally from here. She is a singer, songwriter, and creative type so I am looking forward to working with her on a project. She would be a valuable asset to my less active imagination. She is great at improv and just full of energy. She gifted me a cd of her music which I absolutely love! Her music is very moving with Swedish and English lyrics. A couple of them speak directly to my heart.

I have also e-mailed the Malmö StadsMisson and I will be starting in the food store as that is where they need the most help. I am waiting to hear back from the person in charge to get on the schedule. I also reached out again to the cat sanctuary to see if they need any help now. I would still love to be able to help there but I do have friends who have cats too, which I hope to visit again soon. And my bankcard has finally arrived! Another piece of the puzzle is in place.

I need to work on one of my projects and maybe this will help me sleep better. I have not been sleeping well at all. I am up late almost every night hoping to be exhausted enough to sleep. I sleep maybe 4 to 5 hours tossing and turning the whole time. Perhaps if I work on a project and get some sort of routine established it will be helpful. I wander around doing whatever strikes my fancy and not accomplishing what I planned to do.

It is late now into Sunday. I am starting to get tired. Thank you for all your love and support. I am feeling a bit unhinged but hoping to reel myself back in and attend church tomorrow. I hope it helps.