Self care

Sunrise

Today I feel emotional. I am both grateful and sad at the same time. Grateful because I have all I need. A bank account, money to pay rent, wonderful friends who comment and encourage me. A great life when I see it from the big perspective.

I am sad because I miss my husband. This transition is hard. He was my best friend, understood and accepted my quirks, I thought. He was patient and kind even when I wasn’t. He was and is ambitious and good at so many things I am not. He always said we were a great team. He has the self confidence I never did. I still don’t understand why we ended up here but it doesn’t matter, it just is. I can’t make him love me again if he doesn’t want to. My choice now is to move on and let go or be bitter and angry. The pain is unbearable sometimes but the latter is not what I want.

I exercised today and took a morning walk. I took lots of photos and enjoyed the chill in the air and beautiful scenery. I did extra physical stuff at home and ate a good breakfast, started laundry to keep busy and yet I am still sad.

Then a new friend messaged me to see if I had time to get together and I said “Yes Please!” It was such good timing and we had such a wonderful time. We talked about lots of stuff. Then she took me up to the rooftop of Emporia and wow! What a view! It was amazing! Exactly what I needed today. Yet still I can’t shake the sad.

Some things I enjoy about Malmö. All the parks, large and small. The bicycle and walking paths. The regularity of train and busses and the app for the region is fantastic.

Today on my walk I saw a bush with some pink blossoms which reminded me spring is not too far away. I still had trouble sleeping, my anxiety is through the roof. Need to get out of head but nothing seems to be working so perhaps I need to listen and hear myself. See what I need. Take care of myself and give myself extra love. Hold myself tight in a warm hug and maybe even take a nap and be extra gentle with myself. Today I choose to listen to what I need and I know rebirth is coming soon, but not just yet.

10 responses to “Self care”

Kathleen

January 19, 2022 at 8:04 am

Jeanette, you are doing SO good. Just one day at a time. I like that you’re listening to yourself and meeting your needs like a nap, a warm hug, extra love and gentleness with your inner child.
Also, I was wondering if you take all those pictures and/or are some of them stock photos?

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1. Regina (Gina)
  
  January 19, 2022 at 8:20 am
  
  Jeanette has always loved photography. I believe those pictures are from her camera or phone. 👍🏼😊
  
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  1. Jeanette Olsson Wiggins
    
    January 19, 2022 at 10:15 am
    
    They are mostly from my camera.
    
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2. Jeanette Olsson Wiggins
  
  January 19, 2022 at 9:09 am
  
  I take most of the photos. All the ones from this post are mine.
  
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Karen Edwards

January 19, 2022 at 8:25 am

Start looking for a job or volunteer where your heart leads you so you don’t have time to think of things that cannot be. Things will get easier as time goes on. I know you can get through this!! Again, thanks for taking the time to share wonderful pictures and your thoughts. Virtual hugs.

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1. Jeanette Olsson Wiggins
  
  January 19, 2022 at 10:47 am
  
  Thanks. I have been looking.
  
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Regina (Gina)

January 19, 2022 at 4:15 pm

Hello my beautiful friend! I got your card yesterday! Thank you! I didn’t realize it took awhile to get to me. You’re so thoughtful!! Keep your chin up! You’ve got this and you can do hard. My son once told me: there’s no growth in the comfort zone and no comfort in the growth zone. You have to step out of your comfort zone to grow! I truly believe that good things are coming your way. Dan may have asked for the divorce but…you can know this for sure he thinks about you too. Men aren’t tied to the emotional side of things. They’re more logical thinkers. They may say something to throw you off and put your head in a whirl but stay focused on the prize! You need to know you’re loved 🥰! We are your friends and we feel sad when you aren’t feeling good. Love yourself! You can’t love others until you truly love yourself first. ❤️ Don’t beat yourself up! Stay true and strong to yourself! Love you my friend! ❤️🥰 Gina

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1. Jeanette Olsson Wiggins
  
  January 19, 2022 at 9:18 am
  
  Thank you! I used some oils and meditated and that is exactly what I heard too. I have to love myself and Heavenly Father loves me better than anyone can. He wants me even if no one else ever does. Appreciate you cheering me on. I feel the love. I do!
  
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Marsha Robinson Miskin

January 21, 2022 at 7:06 pm

Jeannette,
It is okay to be sad. Crying used to help me renew. Be strong but allow grieving. It hasn’t been that long. I cried for a few years after leaving my husband and then Idaho and all of my friends. It has now been 20 years or more and I have had a lot of experiences that have moved me forward and I have been able to acquire new talents. I am doing things that I never thought I could do. Thank you for posting. Hugs and prayers.

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1. Jeanette Olsson Wiggins
  
  January 21, 2022 at 10:18 pm
  
  Thanks Marsha. I know it will get better.
  
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