The past few days have been a roller coaster of emotions and like a roller coaster, there have been some whiplash moments. It may be jetlag playing a part but it has been difficult to wake up alone. Having to learn so many new things and a complete change of lifestyle makes me rethink my idea of coming here. My first thoughts are often about Dan and our situation and it just makes me sad.
I have had some amazing times to be sure. I found my apartment as I expected, right in the heart of the city and close to everything (good). While wandering around I wondered how I could be so lonely in a city full of people (not so good). I went to a favorite store Åhlens and walked through feeling blue since I don’t really have a home to decorate just a temporary place to be. I thought about Christmas and how I may decorate and if I want to (undecided).
My brother Fredric and I talked for a long time over Facebook messenger, which was such a blessing. He is considering driving up from Italy to Copenhagen with his family so I wouldn’t be alone for Christmas. I told him I had planned to be with my cousins but if he and his family came it would be nice to spend it together. He had some other places he intended to go as well but the notion he didn’t want me to be alone has never meant more to me than now.
In the meantime, I did go to the tax bureau and let them know I had arrived and planned to be here for a time. She said it would be 18 weeks before anyone was even able to look at my paperwork. I asked if I could search for a job and she said, yes. I went to the bank to see about getting an account which apparently is necessary to have a job so I can get paid and they directed me to a different location where I need to book a time. That will be another day. I purchased some minutes for outside of Sweden calls and I got to ride the bus and train into town.
I had an opportunity to see another friend, Cecilia, for dinner last night. We ate at a wonderful little Indian place called Green Chili in Lilla Torg. We ate outside Swedish style, with patio heaters and a warm blanket on our laps. It was absolutely what I needed to lift my spirits. It was strange being out so late. I did not come back until after 9 pm when all was quiet and the busses did not run as often. I felt very safe while I was waiting for transportation to arrive, on the bus and train, and where I walked to get home. I was warned there were some places I needed to be more aware of my surroundings but have not been in those places yet.
All in all a good experience but I have my moments, as is to be expected. I miss the comfort of my old life but everything new has a learning curve and after so long in one way of life, grieving must happen. I feel very fortunate to have the opportunity I have and am grateful for it. My friends and family here have all been very welcoming and I do miss those I left behind but to move forward I must carry on. Each day will get better and I will become accustomed to the way things operate and see what happens next.
Take 2 of Life 
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