This is my final day at home. One more night and I will fly away to a new adventure. With the pain there is joy, which has always been the case in tough situations.

I have seen so many wonderful people and so many I have spoken to but can’t make it to see. It was a difficult evening when I finally arrived home and it sunk in. I hope to see you all again but some of you I may not. It makes me sad but also makes me feel very loved.

Divorce papers were filed today. It is moving forward as it needs to. I am also moving forward. Sitting and waiting is a difficult place to be. Movement, even if it is side ways, needs to happen after a time of stillness.

Like the season we are in now with the changes it feels appropriate. We are in the changing process. My friend Ann Vargas wrote a book about that very thing. We have seasons in life as in nature.

Winter is coming and that is a season of waiting and being but I hope it also a season of healing and learning. Then in the Spring I can be ready for new growth. It will be a transformation in nature and I hope the same in life.

Dan and I have had many bumps trying to figure things out. We have been stubborn, angry, understanding and even compassionate at times with each other. We did love each other. I still love him. I hope we can forgive and heal and be happy in our lives, whatever the outcome.

Yesterday I was listening to the new ABBA satellite radio station and heard the song which played on our first date in Port Townsend. It is a favorite called “Thank you for the music”. I sang it while we looked in the shops as it played over the speakers. I cried. I pray someday I can hear it and just think of the good memory.

As I get ready to depart my theme song has become a classic which helped me when I moved to Washington state. Another ABBA song called “I Wonder”. It is a song of moving forward and being brave. The chorus helps me, and Anni-Frid sings so beautifully:

“I wonder, it’s frightening, leaving now is that that right thing? I wonder, it scares me, but who the hell am I if I don’t even try? I’m not a coward, oh no, I’ll be strong. One chance in a life time, yes I will take it, it can’t go wrong.”

I am making some choices and taking some chances and yes I will move forward despite being scared but I have to give it a try and see what happens. Thanks dear friends. You will hear from me again soon.