This week has been a bit emotional. I have had some ups and downs with dating. I got ghosted, which was a new one. I had a conversation with a guy the night before. He wanted to get together. We had a great conversation, and he said all the right things. The call ended a couple of times, and I tried to call back, and it didn’t go through.

He told me the number he gave me wasn’t his real number, so he didn’t get stalkers. Ok. I asked what time we were to meet and he said it’s only one o’clock relax. I said I was a planner. After that, no more communication. I waited patiently, but by 6 p.m., I knew something was off. By 8, I was super anxious and upset. This had never happened before. I never did hear another word.

I had heard of this phenomenon before. Still, I did not expect it after our very fun and long conversation. I have no idea what it was, but okay, move on. The next day, I went to church and got a relief society calling as a relief society activities member. I came home and got ready to meet a man I had met several times. I really like him. I expressed that, but he just wants to be friends. I was already starting to have feelings, but he told me not to get attached. It was too late, but I had to back it up. We always have a lot of fun and can talk about so many things, but he doesn’t ever want a relationship again, he says. I told him he was a little bitter. He said no, but I still think so. What I think is I am a rebound. He will find someone he doesn’t want to be without, and I guess with time, maybe it could be with time, but I don’t think I can wait to find out.

So today, I messaged a bunch of people and ended it. I was surprised by many of their responses. Some indicated they really liked me, some said give me another chance, but I am not feeling it and didn’t want to waste more time. There are a few I kept for now. The ones I want to see more of. The rest are just gone. We shall see what happens next.

I still don’t have a job. I have spent a bit more money than I should have, so now, I have to cut back. I am not used to that. I have been sort of looking, but strangely, I have become more of a night owl. I have always been a morning person because of my jobs. This feels strange. Maybe this is me, I don’t know anymore. I don’t get as many things accomplished during the morning as before. Staying focused on job hunting is tough. I feel I don’t get much of anything done these days.

I had a doctor’s appointment on Friday. I went in but arrived late. They gave me paperwork to fill out and then said they did not have me on the schedule. So I made another appointment and took home the paperwork. It was a book. They asked all kinds of things I never would have thought. They even had a Do Not Recititate order in there, and an organ donor form. For the record, I do not want to be on a ventilator if there is no chance of recovery or living that way forever. I do want to donate my organs if they can save the life of another. Now you all know my wishes.

It makes you think. Also, I noticed I couldn’t read the computer monitor as well, so I set up an eye appointment to have my eyes checked. I have been taking a supplement, which is supposed to help improve the eyesight, so maybe it is that. I am using my previous glasses today and see fine with them. It would be nice to have improvement.

In other news I have been to lots more meetings. It was fun and educational. I hosted an introduction seminar where two people came, my sisters. It was fun, but I found out some tough news I will not report here. I was glad to have done the event. It is teaching me how to have my own events. This is great leadership training. I also started working on my project, the gratitude journal. I have 15 people signed up to test it with me and give me feedback. I am very grateful. A friend of mine also started a group about gratitude awareness, supporting me and my idea. That feels very good. I was wondering if it was a good idea. I was creating that if we have more gratitude in our hearts, we can feel better and be better. I only have two weeks done so far and have been creating some art. I’m not sure how it will go. I am looking forward to the feedback.