Another week has gone by, and here I am three months later, fully unpacked and more or less organized. I can hardly believe it has been 3 months since I stepped on a plane heading back to the States to live. In some ways, it feels longer and other ways shorter. There have been a lot of changes and things I have had to learn and do, but it has helped my growth and my self-confidence. I think of the money and time I could have saved had I only done it once, but so it is.

I decided to keep the refrigerator I planned to sell since I like to entertain, and it is cooler now. Bought and built shelving for the garage and finally have all but two boxes on it. I took my bicycle down from where it hung and pumped the tires, but it could use a wash, and the tires are starting to crack but still hold air.

I have a hard time letting it stay in chaos, so I work until it gets done. I think it is a good lesson. My parents taught me to work hard, and I am grateful for that. My dad and mom spent a lot of time building our family home. Every day after work, dad would go there, and we would play help. Mom was pregnant with my brother Hans and had my brother Fredric, who was not even a year old. but worked hard. He learned about plumbing and electrical and did as much as he could himself. Mom was his trusty assistant, us kids, not so much. Little by little, we had a house.

They both worked hard to provide us with a clean and stable home. They always provided what we needed. Mom stayed home with what ended up being 7 children, cooking, cleaning, baking, laundry, etc. While dad worked at a print shop. I’m not sure how they managed, but I remember we gleaned potatoes, and while we weren’t fancy, we always had peanut butter, which I never acquired a taste for. Being clean was important, and we all learned this at an early age. Cleanliness was next to Godliness.

I learned early on 0 liked things tidy. I would clean my room but not like a typical child. I cleaned walls and ceilings, and it took a long time, but I didn’t like to stop until it was perfect. No one made me clean this way. I just did. I think it was the one room I could control. When it came to cleaning the bathroom or any other room, however, that was another story. I would complain and moan and gripe it wasn’t my job. I put it off as long as I possibly could, or a friend came to help. In my room, however, I had to do that alone. I don’t think my parents ever had to remind me to clean my room.

When I got my own house, I spent every weekend cleaning. It had to be perfect, and it was stressful not to have it that way. I am not exactly the same anymore but still keep a tidy home. It is still stressful when things aren’t in place, but I let more things slide now. This is why I have been able to finally feel at home. Now that I feel settled, I have felt much better about being here.

I am still taking medications for depression and anxiety. I have to go in tomorrow to get refills. Last week my blood pressure was very high and they were concerned. So I only got a week’s supply. I was encouraged to go to urgent care, so I did. By then, it was improved, and they told me to self monitor. I also started taking something to help. I also started dating. I was talking to a man for three weeks, who I met once, but that ended Sunday. So I put myself back out, and well, my calendar is full this week. It will be fun to meet some new people and have some fun.

I was surprised I got a lot of interest. I figured if I was lucky, I would maybe get a date, but I was wrong. Right away, men were reaching out and wanting to meet. We will see how it goes. I imagine there will be a lot of first dates and maybe a couple of seconds, and then I can decide who I want to see. I am going to enjoy the attention and take my time to choose someone worthy of me. Someone who puts in effort and time. Someone who doesn’t run away when there is a small problem and someone who I choose. Sunday, I felt I wouldn’t ever find anyone, Monday I had options, so never give up.

There are either lots of fish in the sea, loads of desperate and lonely people, or I may actually be an attractive person and a good catch. Of course, it could be all of the above. Despite my catching a cold, they still want to meet, so I will rest when I can and have fun when I can.