I am enjoying the last cool morning in Idaho Falls, Idaho. This is where I spent my childhood. Lots of memories from my childhood. My brother ‘s daughter got married. I thought getting away would be the much needed rest I needed. I had no plans. Just to spend time with my family.

I ended up spending most of my time with my sister and her husband. It was really nice, and yet I was caught up in my own grief. I miss Sweden and the life I had. I miss the beautiful summers and the cooler weather. I miss the sunmer activities around Malmö. I miss my friends, who helped keep me busy. I know it would be reversed if I were there. Sometimes, it feels there is no winning in my mind.

Idaho has cooler evenings and warm days. I was glad to see my family for sure, and yet….I struggled mentally. My family is loving and supportive, and I am glad I came. I enjoyed being there, but on Sunday, I went into a tailspin. I was feeling sorry for myself. I slept most of Sunday and did not go see a friend I had planned to see. I just couldn’t.

I did make it to the wedding, which was nice. The best part was that nothing was expected of me except to show up. We got a couple of family photos with the bride and groom. He is very sweet to my niece. I saw my brother walk his daughter down the aisle with her mother. I saw him dance with her. I was glad to see her happy.

We celebrated one of my three brothers’ birthdays. His wife and him held a barbecue in their almost finished house. They have been working on it for a long time. It looks amazing, and they are finally able to live in it. They still have things to do, which will happen but takes time, energy, and money. My other sister-in-law made scrumptious desserts. I am glad I went, despite my wanting to stay in bed.

I left my cat at my house with a young lady coming to check on her. I am sure she will be glad to have me home. She has been a great comfort to me. She stays in the yard and loves to be outside by the pool. She dips her paw in it and licks her paw to drink the water, so cute. She enjoys the geckos and laying by the patio door with it slightly open so she can come in when she wants, and the cool air comes out, but she still has the heat.

At home, in Arizona, I have been unpacking my belongings and working on putting things away. The kitchen and bathroom are mostly done. I still have a lot of boxes in my dining room. I am at the point where I could probably take the rest to the dump and not even miss anything. I have rearranged a few things so I can have a place for my loom.

I like order, so it is difficult when things are not in place, but finding a place for everything in the house where I already have so much is also a challenge. I have exhausted myself daily, so it was nice to get away. I’m back at it this week. More things will be donated, and then I need to sell some appliances. I hope this is my last move for a while. This is the seventh time in two years I have moved. It is both exhausting and rewarding to get things as I like them.

There are so many memories from my previous life that make it challenging at times. I can’t look at photos just now and keep coming across them. That has been the hardest thing about unpacking because they often come unexpectedly. They are packed in a box hidden from view, and suddenly right in front of me, a memory comes flooding in, reminding me of what used to be. Life will go on. I will make new memories and all will be well in the end. Time marches on.