Spring flowers are popping up all over. There has been some interesting weather to be sure from hail, snow, wind, rain, and sunshine. All the weather in one day can happen in spring. I saw cherry blossoms starting to burst open as well as crocus, daffodils, and snow drops on my way to work in Malmö.

It’s so amazing that we have spring to remind us that life goes on, even when we feel it won’t. I love this time of year. The buds on the trees, the pops of color, and the renewal of life. We can also be renewed. More light brings happy feelings, especially here in the northern parts of Scandinavia. I am also reminded that it has been a year since my friend Beverly came to visit.

Working at La Soupe has been fun. It is hard to stand on my feet, especially when it is slow, but I am grateful for the opportunity. A friend came in for soup, and we ended up going out for a fika, where we ran into a couple he knew. It was spontaneous and fun to meet new people.

The missionaries came by for lunch as well, one day, and we talked about negative self-talk. I shared a video a friend had shared with me about an experiment of water and rice. It showed how speaking love showed a remarkable difference compared to hateful words. They shared a talk about a researcher who had talked lovingly to the rabbits and saw a significant difference in the results. Words matter whether to ourselves or others. This reminded me that I need to speak with more compassion and love to myself as well as others.

Thursday, I went and did some healing with a man I was recommended to see. I was impressed by his intuition, kindness, and ability to listen. He recommended some minerals and vitamins the first time we went and did some major healing. Thursday, he said my body had been taking up the supplements well, and I have noticed an improvement in my general mental attitude. He updated his recommendations based on how I was doing and did some talking therapy as well as other healing.

Thursday, I had a difficult time staying asleep and several times caught myself saying negative things to myself. I woke up with a headache. I have had too much sugar and too little water, I think. It was my last night in my Malmö apartment. I am sad to go but also ready for a change. That morning, I came across an article about the difficulties Americans have living in Sweden. It made me feel less alone and less crazy. It also helped me understand when I come from the attitude of adventure and flexibility. I do much better, but even those who are this way can find it difficult.

I am uncertain about what to do next, which is typical for me. There are too many options, perhaps, but I am saying goodbye to Malmö, for now. What happens next is what happens next. I am trying not to over plan, but I also want to see what feels right for me. I want to get it right, but as Jimi and I talked about during our fika, how we get there is not as important as keeping the end goal in mind.

I drove back to Värnamo with the last of my belongings. I will be back for two more days of work in Malmö. I plan to take the train and stay with a friend. My original plan was to go on Sunday, but now I am thinking Monday morning. I want to be home.

Dan has been working on plans for our building in Washington. He is so good at making the most of the space we have and always has been so good with money. Something I need to work on is my relationship with money. I tend to stick my head in the sand when it comes to dealing with difficulties, which usually gives me anxiety. Rather than facing my issues head-on, I want them to disappear, but it rarely works in my favor. This will be an interesting relationship to change and see what develops. I look forward to transforming it.

Another relationship I need to transform is with myself. Loving myself, being kinder, and feeding my body with care are all important. I have neglected myself for far too long. I have to be better to myself so I can be better for others. Also, my body is showing signs of inflammation caused by a lack of care for myself.

I joined a fitness challenge, actually two at the same time. I was more committed to one than the other but did not follow either completely, but I learned a great deal. I want to do better, but I take care of myself last. It is past time to change because, as they say in Fitbanker, everything is transformable, and there are people banking on my health. I only get one shot at this life, and I have so much I want to accomplish.