I have been on a writing retreat at home. I have written 18,000 words, of which most will probably not be anything, but I have been working. I have taken morning walks until today when it is raining hard at times with the wind blowing the rain sideways. I have enjoyed the process of writing, but it is a solitary practice. You have to make it a practice, and it is work and patience. I take frequent breaks and am not always on topic, but I keep plugging away, and we will see how it goes.

The past few days have been lonely. I feel empty inside and know it is my thoughts taking over. I feel homesick for the life I left behind, which can never be the same again. I have been thinking about what comes next in the journey of life. What will it look like? What do I want from my life? The emotions of all of it have me feeling tired. Tired of making decisions. I’m tired of things not being what I hoped. I need a pause from all the feelings and thoughts.

I have replaced the windshield on my car. The man who helped me was so fun to talk to. He had purchased an American car from Arizona. He said it was completely sun damaged, and I can only imagine. It is a harsh climate for paint on cars. It amazes me how that is the one thing men want to talk about is cars whenever they learn I am from the USA. We do have some pretty cool cars, but it is not my favorite subject. They ask me if it is better in America, and my answer to them is that it is different. Better in some ways and not others. It is all a matter of what we are looking for, but for me, the US is easier because I have lived there most of my life

Spring is definitely showing here. The small buds are starting to form on the trees. The snowdrop flowers, crocus, and daffodils are popping up all over. It is also nice to have more daylight. It reminds me that summer is not so far away. The dark days always lead to the light, and if we can wait for the light, we will be ok. With the light, life will look brighter, life will be a little easier, and you will make it through.

My Nala is in heat again, and this time, it is worse than ever. She has been trying fervently to escape and managed to so one early morning. I woke up thinking it was awful quiet, came out, and the balcony door was open. She had worked and worked on it until finally it opened and she jumped two floors. She must have jumped onto my car, which is just underneath the balcony. There she was, looking up at me and meowing. She also broke my glass candle holder the other morning when I was out for a walk. She was fine, the glass not so much. She is scheduled to get spayed next Monday. Hopefully, that happens as planned.