No, I am not going to do math with you today, but today marks 8 months since my husband told me he wanted a divorce. We are not divorced yet but getting very close. We have some wording in our document which needs to be agreed upon and we will be done. I seem to be dragging it out. I want it finished but I am not ready to face the reality of it being completely over, even though it is.

This last week has been really tough. I have felt homesick for the kids and grandkids beyond normal. The video calls help a tremendous amount but after 5 months in Sweden I had thought the feelings would lessen, not increase. I have put myself in a sort of limbo not knowing if I am staying or going and not able to decide either. Part of me is feeling the call to go home and the other part is saying stay.

The values I have grown up with are much more aligned and make sense in the US versus Sweden. However, I have met some very amazing people here and it makes me want to make it my home. The distance I have is not different from other people. They have parents and siblings they also miss. Some have children or grandchildren who live abroad as well. I suppose making a decision will help ground me.

In the meantime, I had dinner with the VASA Sirius Lodge which I hope will be a friendship lodge with one in Tacoma. It was very nice to go out on a Friday evening. There were district lodge officers as well which was fun. I got treated exceptionally well as a guest. Their speaker had to cancel and they asked if I would be their speaker, so I was. I talked about coming to Sweden. The challenges I had faced, how it was different going to Vasa in Sweden and I was able to do it all in Swedish. They were very appreciative and glad I was able to be there. Loved them all instantly.

The dinner we had was absolutely fantastic. King Fish with boiled potatoes and dill and a very nice sauce. Dessert was coffee and small cookies. They are holding strong in their rituals and traditions and have a very nice hall to meet in. They also had a no-host bar. They had checked in with the Tacoma and Seattle lodges I am affiliated with so they knew about my history there and gave me a glowing recommendation. I did not get home until 10:30 pm and I was one of the first to leave and last to arrive, so nothing has changed there.

For those who don’t know. Vasa is a fraternal organization started in America. Vasa Order of America was incorporated in 1899, with this goal: To perpetuate the noble heritage of our forefathers and to foster Nordic cultural activities by encouragement and example to its members. Today, we celebrate our Nordic culture and traditions through membership in lodges throughout the United States, Canada, and Sweden.  Find out more at http://www.vasaorder.com. There you will find information about lodges, and more. It is a fun way to stay connected to your Swedish roots and I highly encourage everyone to participate and join for the biggest benefit.

We have had very nice weather until today. It looks a bit like it will rain and the forecast seems to agree. It can not always be amazing as much as I would like it to be. But then I should be Arizona, right Arizona peeps?

I took a different bus line this week into town to see my cousin and on my way home i stopped and appreciated the water park nearby. I can imagine during the summer it is full of activity. There is a little river which with the feature of being able to damn up and watch it fill up and release, like the locks in Ballard and other places. Looks very fun. Also a waterfall which would be very refreshing during the summer heat. Looks like fun.

Here in Malmö I find they have some amazing parks. Maybe it is everywhere in Sweden. Wonderful places to relax and enjoy the sun and depending on where you go also quiet nature. This past week or so it has been a little less quiet around here. Last night I heard a helicopter flying around and last night someone was having a loud party into the wee hours of the morning. There was also fires and several report I have seen of vandalism around some areas of the city but I myself have not seen anything. Someone had set fire to a trash can up by the train station but it was put out quickly.

For now I will keep plugging away. I have my first class Tuesday to teach and need to be searching for a job thru the unemployment office. There are some things I could see myself doing in the lisings, so I think I will try something new. Hope you are all well. Thinking of you as you read this. ❤